Honeymoon

Click here to view this photo book larger

A Season of Revelations

I'm sitting in mine and Russell's office and we are both writing. Such English majors, right?? :-) The only difference is, my husband is working on his novel, while I work on the blog. We're both cool in our own way ;-) I've got him listening to Imogen Heap and Regina Spektor, which makes for a lovely night. Oh, and two pugs are currently lying down on my back.

Since my last post, things have calmed down a little bit. I finally tackled the big pile of laundry/constant growing garden in our laundry room. Our closet looks more like a place to get clothes than to leave them. It's nice. I'm working on this whole wife thing :-)

I know that if I post what I want to say it will seem like I'm going through a roller coaster of emotions right now. Maybe I am. Since writing everything out in my last post, I've stepped back and realized just how good I have it. Russell and I have discussed that we are pretty lucky to be where we are, and I don't want to ever sound like I'm not thankful for our life. I'm VERY thankful and blessed that God has brought us where we are. We live in our dream house. Not because it's the BEST house ever (it still needs a lot of work), but because it's our house and we are making such happy memories.

I am thankful :-)

In a rut...

Is it possible to distance yourself from your own true feelings?? I have somewhat "trained" myself to be less stressed out and have made it a natural response for myself to be as laid back as possible when I would normally be..... stressing. I don't want to say that I always do that, but I usually do. I think it has become more of a defense mechanism than anything else because I may not want to "deal" with the many things that are thrown my way.

Lately I have been avoiding how overwhelmed I feel with all of the things I am doing. I am: taking 9 hours of graduate prerequisite courses, working full-time as a teacher for three different English classes, trying to maintain an orderly house (this week I have failed), and trying really hard to do all of the things I have committed to. We did not make it to church this past week because I have been so. tired. I am drained. Exhausted. I get mad at myself for not having the time to go running and I feel like everyday I gain another pound. My mind feels like it is going 100 mph because if I'm not worrying about school, I'm worrying about work, or the laundry that needs to be done, or the bills I need to pay. I'm not even sure if I will get into the graduate program and am struggling with one of my classes.

I don't know what I'm going to do next. I feel somewhat trapped by all of these obligations and desperately want a break.

I need God's rejuvenation. I need His hand to hold me and His words of comfort to say it will be alright. Please pray for me. I need rest, comfort, and some down time.

Blessings in many forms

I went on a "home visit" yesterday to see one of my best students and her grandmother. One of the favorite things about my school is we get to build community by talking and getting to know the family of our students. I also love getting to see what my students see everyday. We had a great time and I am truly blessed that God has placed such wonderful people in my life. However, when I was preparing my things this morning in my classroom, this student came in and handed me an envelope from her grandmother. A gift for the classroom: books from our school book fair. Something I have been trying really hard to do this year is gather more books and my students have made this goal so much easier to accomplish. I have about 40 more books in our collection this year. I love generosity. It's even greater to see it go to such a good cause- my students are reading!! I truly believe that my students are becoming lifelong readers, and I love that!!!

Tonight I am washing dishes, studying, making quiche, looking at unfolded laundry, feeling some pain in my legs (just tired), and enjoying the company of my husband and pugs. I look around and feel God's blessings. I am grateful.